An improvised life

The past few weeks have been dominated by Stuff. We sent 300 pounds of Legos and other assorted goods to Alaska by barge, mailed three boxes of books and files, and filled five 50-pound suitcases to take advantage of Alaska Airlines’ free checked baggage for Alaskans. We got rid of even more stuff. We gave most of it away but there was one item I had a hard time letting go of – a Kenwood car stereo deck. It’s not that I wanted it, I just wanted money for it. The car stereo (upside down, sorry) Remember Shel Silverstein’s poem, Smart [i] ? I read it to Alder recently as he was learning about money, and I couldn’t help thinking I’d been the fool who turned her dollar into five cents. Yes, this has something to do with a car stereo. It starts last summer, when in my frenzy to leave Juneau I failed to ship my car to Seattle. In August, while driving a borrowed car, I rear-ended someone (a car dealer, it turned out). [ii] I again considered shipping my car down, but it w

In the first months of diagnosis and treatment, lists of questions littered my spiral cancer notebook in preparation for each medical visit. Questions like this: Can my specimens be saved for potential genetic, pharmacogenetic and pharmacogenomic studies? (Yes.) Should I take probiotics during chemo? (No.) When/how will we scan or otherwise gauge response to chemo? (MRI, halfway and after chemo.) How long between mastectomy and radiation of I don’t get tissue expanders? (about a month) What are the pros and cons of a skin-sparing versus regular mastectomy? (Use your imagination.) What is gated breathing? (a way to minimize collateral damage to the heart during radiation) When can I get my port removed? (Unfortunately I rushed this one.) Does L-glutamine help with Letrozole side effects? (Nah.) Why does radiation make you feel tired? (It kills tons of healthy cells.) And so on. Yesterday I saw my cardiologist (well, his physician’s assistant)